January 2009
14 posts
Who Wants a Mustache Ride
If there is one thing that I have learned from watching the HBO mini-series Deadwood in less than a week is that in the old west men were men, and men were men back then because they had mustaches.
And it doesn’t stop with just your average Tom Sellick lip hair. They had huge mustaches that curled up at the end with only a minor canal of skin between the stash and the huge bushes that could...
This here audio version is for bar patrons that...
Downhill Battles are a Dime a Dozen
It’s been a downhill battle being Jonny Cigar’s bartender… Someone once told me “Barkeep, people love to watch people doing things just as much as people love people to watch them doing things.” I never did understand what he meant and I naturally thought he was insane after he took his pants off and walked into the women’s bathroom. It wasn’t until I watched Jonny walk out of the women’s bathroom...
It’s been a downhill battle being Jonny Cigar’s...
SEX!
Did that catch your attention? If it did then you are like the millions and millions of horny individuals that are splattered around New York. If it didn’t then you are either too young to be reading this or you might be a eunuch.
But whether you are a eunuch or a prepubescent teen you once were, or will become a member of the lecherous masses that help drive our species because of one thought and...
The Revised Version of Hell
On April 20, the year of our lord 2007, Pope Benedict XVI abolished the concept of Limbo. Limbo, as you may or ay not know, was the first circle of hell and the place where all the un-baptized children went.
The problem with this move is that the Vatican, in all their Dogmatic power, didn’t take into account the resulting changes to the following eight circles.
Here, for the first time, is the...
Summing Up Last Year in Four Digits: 2008
I wanted this column to be a sweeping journey throughout the last 365 days, recapping all the ups and downs as I have witnessed them but isn’t it always the case, I waited until the last minute. So here I am, a week late, recapping the year I had all year to write about.
Last year was particularly special because of the election of Barak Obama to the President of the United States. And before I am...